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INFORMATION
thy blog owner
Just want to lead a normal life..


REMINISCENCE
flashbacks.
  • July 2007
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    • CREDITS
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    Friday, August 3, 2007
    Title : I do not understand
    Time : 12:39 AM

    Yes.. I really don't understand.
    I thought I can do many things.
    But in actual fact, I can't.
    I can't achieve loads of things.
    I am disappointed in myself.
    And others are disappointed in me.
    But, I am disappointed in the others too.
    I thought.. They would understand me.
    I thought.. They would encourage me.
    I thought.. They would support me.
    I thought.. They would agree with me.
    I thought.. They would understand the WHOLE situation and look at the same direction as me.
    I thought.. They would be in my shoes and consider all the factors before saying anything.
    I thought..
    I thought..
    I thought...

    Those were all my wishful thoughts, and now I know that it will never happen.
    I am back in reality again. Cruel.. Competitive world.
    I wish I could just sleep forever and never be able to wake up.
    I wish I dont have to do all those things that would make me end up like this.
    I wish nothing had happened.
    I wish I could sleep all night.
    I wish I won't think when I sleep.
    I wish everyone would understand me.
    I wish..
    I wish...
    I wish....


    Those were all the wishes that will never come true.
    And do anyone believe in wishes? And do they really come true??
    I don't believe. No wish would come true, only working for dreams will be feasible.
    If only wishes would come true.. *Sigh*

    In this world, do we really need friends and relative?
    Just wondering..
    Why do we need them.. when they only know how to sprout nonsense and talk without using brains.
    Why do we need them.. when they don't even understand you and starts to say rubbish to you..
    Why do we need them.. when they starts to ask stupid questions?

    I don't understand. I don't. I don't..
    And I know that I don't need them too.
    For all my years, I never depend on any relative before.
    So.. Is it a blessing to have many relatives?
    Well.. Its very controversial isn't it?
    All I can say is..
    Only if.. If only.. If and only If.. They understands, and know you well.
    But.. normally not.

    I don't know about others. I could see others hanging out with cousins. Which is good! Hopefully there won't be anyone like me.

    Having relatives = No relatives.

    No diff.. Except that my house will be full of relatives only during CNY and my grandma's bdae.
    Right.....

    Never mind.
    I don't care anyway.
    And why should I care?

    I do not understand alot of things.
    And I do not wish to understand them too.
    I am tired. Tired of being nag, being said, being questioned.

    Tired.
    Tired of my life.
    Tired of everything that I've done.